If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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