How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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