I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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