Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
