clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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