ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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