That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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