either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
