why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
