Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
