I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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