R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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