...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
