8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
