How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize