There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
