Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
