It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
