____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
