that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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