well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize