dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think your dad took our porno
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize