You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
