absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
