if i can run in heels then i can drive
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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