I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize