Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
