Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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