Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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