Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
