It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
