you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
