Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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