I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
