I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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