Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
