The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
