So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
