Soap is not a condiment
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
