I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize