Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
