and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
