i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
