have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
