we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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