my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How external is "for external use only"?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
not ubering you a puppy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
