Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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