hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
