That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
