If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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