There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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