i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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