its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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