Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize