You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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