i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
