HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
