So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize