So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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