I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
