champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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