we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
