i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
