i will never coherently bang her
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
