i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
