just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were trust falling into bushes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
