Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
