Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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